Well...Spring Break is almost over and I'm bored out of my mind. I still have homework to finish and a book to read. I'm tired of watching movies, and I really haven't done much of anything. I'm not very happy with where my life is right now. I want less. And I want more. And at the end of the day...I want.
When I'm back at home I'm the same person I used to be. I fit right back into the old mold. But I hate that mold. It's confining and restricting and everything else I don't want to be. People I used to know so well suddenly hate me and I'm not sure I've forgiven someone for a past wrong.
I want to fly to Never Never Land and never grow up. I want to be 80 years old and look back on my life. I want to live.
I want to teach. I want to read children stories and let them write poems. I want to live in authentic community. I want to be married, but I'm not sure that will happen until I can be content with being single.
I want to cry one thousand tears for the life I will miss, because I know I'm missing it already.
How do you decide what is worth your time, your effort?
Love Is Always Worth It.
2 comments:
just so you know...I don't expect you to be the same person you used to be when you're bach home. I love you and I've always been excited to see who God would shape you to be. don't change to try and please me. I want you, my sister, not someone pretending to be her to appeal to us. just thought you should know I love and appreciate your growth and you, as you, being you. you've taught me to grow and give others room to grow. so take some of your own advice : )
Thanks for writing this. I'm not sure how much it shows, but under the surface I do have a lot of questions and aches and dissatisfaction. Of the things I know, really the only one to rely on is that last thing you said: Love is always, always, always worth it. Love is always. Love is worth.
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